Cell phone pictures

 I made the kids' Halloween costumes this year. Ethan's took HOURS but turned out just awesome! I made them super durable so he could wear it everyday around the house.

 These are both the same view from my bedroom window only 3 days apart. The weather sure changed fast here.

 The kids and I built our first snowman. I also finished re-finishing the frame I was given a long time ago. It now surrounds our favorite picture of Christ, beefing it up so it doesn't look so small above our fireplace.

On Veteran's Day I made jagerschnitzel,  the only German dish I know how to make. We were stationed in Germany when I was little and my dad was in the military.

This was taken just minutes after my kids got up one morning. Ethan is glued to his Buzz Lightyear toy and Corryn has found my high heels and is pushing a stroller full of random animals around the house.

Just yesterday there were 6 deer that passed thru our yard. We love living here!!!

I know, it's been forever...

 The past 6 weeks have been pretty packed. We settled into Utah life quickly, Ethan started preschool which he really enjoys. It's helping him overcome some shyness and he always singing a new song or working on a new poem.

 We've also been exploring the many many parks in our neighborhood. This digging toy is, of course, Ethan's favorite, he play with it the entire time.

 Sorry, I don't think some of these pictures are going to rotate for me for some reason.

 We've also gotten memberships to our local rec center and the kids love swimming there. Ethan was very hesitant at first, but now (after 2 or 3 more visits) he willingly goes down the big water slides.

 My mom came for a weekend and took us to a fun center complete with a rollerskating rink, arcade, and water slides. Corryn was in heaven with the music and lights show on the rink and danced her little booty the whole time.

 I also spent and week eating, breathing, and sleeping peaches. We harvested hundreds from our tree and I froze most of them.

 Yes, there are chickens and horses in our neighborhood. It's country living!

 We also spent a night in the backyard camping.

Alright, that's enough for one post. More to come...

Tour of the new place

I have to do it all again?

Yup, I'm pregnant. Crazy, I know. By the time this baby is born we will have been married not 5 years yet, had 3 kids and 2 major moves. Oi. I feel old and tired already. My hair is a wiry texture, my eyes have permanent dark circles, my stomach will forever have a muffin top, and will I never get enough sleep to feel energized. My patience runs thin, I find myself wanting an escape, and I find little joy in what I used to love doing. Not to mention my current pregnancy symptoms; I'm constantly nauseous, my chest aches, and my body screams for rest just from the daily chores of the day. Yeah, life is not real great right now. But such is the circle of life motherhood. In 7 months I'll be holding a beautiful baby in my arms... and whining about the pain of breastfeeding or the taxing hours of dealing with a fussy baby. Overall I've realized that motherhood, as beautiful as it is, is really quite ugly. It's super hard on your body and soul. But one day I'll be craving these early days again, right? Seriously? I'll wish for these days back?? The idea of ever feeling that way is hard to imagine right now.
But as hard as it all is.... my kids are still cute... and that makes it worth it.... barely.

Ah, 860 square feet.

 This is a picture of the house we're hoping to move to. It's in Herriman, Utah. It's 3X the size of our current place. It's has A YARD, a garage and laundry. As wonderful as this house looks (and believe me, I dream about it at night) I still get teary eyed thinking about the wonderful memories we've made in this tiny apartment.

I'm blogging in the middle of the day, while my children are awake. This is a big indication that I'm having an off day. I woke up this morning slightly grumpy (that's usual, I'm not a morning person) but then it all got worse when I weighed myself. Uggh. After abstaining from dairy, dessert, and most wheats for 3 days I had gained 3 pounds and had a horrible night of stomach cramps and trips to the bathroom. Okay, so that's not working. Jon said what was in my head, "Looks like dieting is not for you. If you want to lose weight, it's going to have to be through exercise." Big frown face. I hate exercise. I hate feeling my heart pound in my chest and feeling like I'm going to throw up when I run.

Not to mention, we are STILL waiting to here whether or not we are moving to UT. I know it's the final countdown until we finally know but I'm losing my patience...

And so today is an off day. But you wouldn't really be able to tell unless I told you so. I still showered, got dressed, got my children dressed and fed them breakfast and lunch. I put some laundry away and shampooed my couches. After nap time, I'll probably take my kids to the park and chase them down the slide and push them on the swing. I'll even make dinner, do a load of dishes, and bathe and cuddle with my babies. But under it all my heart is heavy. Oi.

THE POSITIVE WAY TO LOOK AT THINGS:
I weigh 150lbs.... that's actually pretty good. Considering that I was 135 when I got married, I've only gained 15lbs from two close together pregnancies and 4 years of marriage.
Jon's ready to move on from his current position, it's too stressful and not where he wants to be in his career. So even if UT falls through, we're going to move somewhere soon... hopefully.
My children are okay with staying home all morning. They're content to watch Toy Story multiple times so that I can try to distract myself with housework and blogging on days like this.

Dearest Children

 

Dearest Children,

Here's what you love as of late:
The game where Dad or I pretend we're asleep and you kiss our cheek to wake us up.
The "I'm gonna get you" game where we chase each other around the house.
To go around the table during meals, taking turns making funny faces.
To climb onto Mom and Dad's bed and strip off the pillows and blankets and jump.
To watch movies with pillows and blankets on the floor and cups full of popcorn and marshmallows.
To walk to the park, go to the beach, and play with friends.
To video chat with grandparents.
To dip your food in ketchup or ranch.
To sing songs. (Notice the rendition of I Love to See the Temple below)

Ethan:
You like to have me lay with you in bed and tell you a story. It's always the same story about how you help Juan, our garbage man, collect all the garbage from all the dumpsters and drive the garbage truck to a landfill. Afterwards to go out to ice cream with Juan.
You like to go to ward choir with me every Sunday morning. You still quietly playing with a toy and don't sing but then on the way home you sing all the songs you just heard, including the warm ups.
You're still very obsessed with your garbage truck toys and often ask me to fix or adjust them.
You recently started showing interest in your toy computer, quickly mastering the "find this number/letter" games, you're so smart!
You have a love hate relationship with the carwash, always asking to go to it but then chickening out when we do.
You know where the bananas, eggs, and milk are located in the store.
Every once in a while you will give an unanticipated hug or kiss and it makes my day.

Corryn:
You're words are many but difficult to understand. You try so hard to say what your brother is saying.
You love to choose your clothes everyday.
You love to play with your babies, laying them down on a blanket spread out on the floor. You will go around smoothing out the blanket until it's perfect.
You're very physically confident, already climbing up ladders and swinging on the big girl swing at the playground.
You can do the splits and jump super high, you're going to be a great gymnast.
You love to have books read to you.
You love to call Nana, Tausha, and Nay... asking several times a day.
You're a great sharer, always willing to give someone you food or toys.

I LOVE YOU,
MOM.

New Diggs

Like the makeover? I'm head over heals for the grey/mustard yellow fad. I've always loved ugly colors like mustard yellow. You think puke green will make an appearance? That's my all time fav color.

Speaking of new diggs, we're still waiting to hear about our possible move to Utah. I'm excited to move into a larger/nicer place for less money... I've been searching the ads daily and making a ever updated short list. Patience....

And just because every post needs a couple cute pics of the kids, here's Corryn.

Mother's Day

Poor Jon, he has to deal with Holiday Tara. For some reason I get depressed on holidays like my birthday or Mother's Day. Even though the day went well and I was shown love and appreciation I can't help but revert, be quiet and just want to be alone those days. Luckily the sadness didn't really hit me until the end of the day, so up until then I was good.

The kids drew me a card in the morning, I whipped up some cupcakes before church for me to devour later, church had some good speakers and I was given a flower and treated to a chocolate-covered strawberry extravaganza at the end. The Elder's Quorum just seems to be stepping it up more and more each year, they did good. The after consisted of a short nap, a quick walk to the park, me making dinner, cleaning up from dinner and then putting the kids to bed. After that I deep cleaned the kitchen, did two loads of laundry and talked on the phone to my mom and aunt. I then laid my head on my pillow and shed a silent tear or two before falling asleep. Why is it so hard to enjoy these special days? Gah, motherhood, what a range of emotion.

The next day Jon surprised me with this beauty. Her name is Blanch, referring to her color. I'm spoiled. The end.

Musings of Dieting

Dang it! Blogger deleted this post... so this is the second time I'm writing it.
How do you tell your friend that she honestly looked better before her crazy fitness/diet makeover? She was already thin and already relatively active and now.... well her face is too bony and her arms are starting to look like she's injecting steroids. What is with these moms? They are moms. They are fertile females... they should look fertile, not like a racing greyhound. Gah.
I wrote this on facebook and it caused a little bit of a debate.... heh.
Jon and I recently have decided that enough is enough and we want to lose a little weight. And by "a little" I mean that I have no intentions on trying to get down to a size 2 or compete in an Iron Man. I'm not ashamed by my current condition, I'm still in single digit jeans and can run a mile without walking. I eat relatively healthy as well. No canned foods or processed boxed foods are allowed in the house. I bake and steam everything and we eat very little beef. Fresh fruits and veggies make up the bulk of every meal. We do love our dairy though, milk, eggs and cheese.
My biggest set back is dessert. I love homemade goodness and usually have something made at all times. I'm not eating processed junk and artificial colors and sugars... but I do love me some homemade yummy, chocolatey goodness. I eat something like that everyday... how do I curb my crazy dessert addiction? Tips?
Here's a very unflattering pic to illustrate what I would like to change... the infamous baby belly... I can't believe I'm posting this.

This one's for Shauna

Every now and then my posts become more like a log of events rather than a page in my personal journey. I was talking about this with my dear friend Shauna and so, in her honor, this one is all about me! It's about what Tara does these days... not Mom Tara or Wife Tara or Church Tara, but Tara Tara.

 I was recently commissioned to design the logo for the Nova Scotia Humane Society. So, when the house is clean and the kids are occupied, I'm sketching. I'm glad I still get commissioned every now and then to take pictures, paint, or design... makes me feel like I've still got "it". Long gone are the days when 100% of my thoughts were consumed with line, perspective, color, light, and theme. When I wasn't in class discussing art, I was rehearsing for Women's Chorus while thinking about art, or mopping the floors of the MARB and thinking about art, or being a docent at the Springville Museum of Art talking about art.
Now it seems like my thoughts are filled with numbers; how many hours of sleep I got last night, how many timeouts have we had so far today, how many cups of juice has Ethan downed, how long has it been since he's used the potty, how many hours until Jon gets home, how many more dishes can I fit in this load, how many weeks has it been since I've done anything with my hair besides pull it back, how much more money is left in the grocery budget this pay period, how much time is left in Jon's hockey game, how many hours has it been since I've had some form of chocolate...

 When the kids go down for their nap I immediately go to my happy place. I cuddle with my favorite purple pillow, drink frigid cold water from my camelback water bottle, apply an essential oil for relaxation and read my kindle or scriptures. If I don't get this time once a day, I am a very grumpy mommy.

 Lately it has been overcast and cold... I LOVE IT! Seriously, this is my favorite weather, always on the verge of rain, freshness in the air, cardigan weather. (Cardigan Weather happens to be a song by one of my favorite bands too.)

These are my newest babies, an herb garden and a pot of peas. I transplanted the herbs into one large pot... there have been some deaths, but hopefully what remains will grow in nice and strong. I was so excited when my two pea plants sprouted up, now I feel like it's just a waiting game until I actually see the fruit of my labors. Which brings me to the topic I've been avoiding this whole post... we're moving.
When we heard the news about a position opening up in the SLC office we were so stoked... then came the waiting game. Jon went from being told "the job is yours if you want it" to "well, legally we have to open in up to the public" and now we're just waiting and twiddling our thumbs to know if we're going to be moving in the next 1-2 months. I spend a lot of time looking at rental listings but it's frustrating to know you can't yet act on anything. And so, just like my pea plants, I'm waiting...

Can I just say how much these girls mean to me? I have never been closer to a group of women and it completes me. They're my family.

 It was Shauna's (girl on far right) birthday and I was determined to paint her something in less than 3 days.

 Believe it or not, this was the longest part... trying to figure out chevrons and also trying to draw straight lines on curved surfaces.

 Ahh, success.

 And then Ethan came along, with dry brush in hand and made me cry like a baby. Luckily I was able to turpentine the birds off and start them over without damaging the chevron background.

The finish product, done by 3pm and then given to her at 8pm... just in the nick of time. :)

P.S. The inspiration for the painting came from one of my favorite scriptures, Pslams 84:3.

Yea, the sparrow hath found an house, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young, even thine altars, O LORD of hosts, my King, and my God.