Sunday, March 06, 2011

Spiritual Month!

My birthday was an interesting experience. For weeks Corryn has been going through a nursing battle with me. She squirms pulls away and wants to switch sides every few seconds. It's been really rough. Don't get me wrong, she doesn't go hungry and she still sleeps really well, our days are just filled with wrestling and crying. It had gotten so bad that my supply was almost completely gone... to the point where my period started. And boy did it start. And anyone who has known me for a long time knows that my period equals migraines. No wonder I've preferred pregnancy and nursing for the past 3 years, it's great natural migraine deterrent. Anyway... so this was the setting for my birthday. Super heavy period, nursing strike, low supply, and migraines. Then Ethan wakes up at 1am and doesn't successfully go back to sleep until 5:30am. So add sleep deprivation to the equation. Needless to say, by my birthday morning I was in tears and just wanted to disappear under the covers all day. I spent the first half of my birthday feeling sorry for myself. I longed for my childhood birthdays when I would wake up to green eggs and ham, get balloons delivered to me at school, wear a new pair of shoes to school, spend the morning curling my hair, and eat my favorite meal for dinner. Welp, I'm not a kid anymore... in fact, I have kids now.
Luckily, Jon came home early from work, I was able to take a nap and Shauna came to visit bringing treats and laughs. That night we took the kids to the Curtis' for 2 hours while we picked up dinner at Olive Garden and ate it in front of an episode of Star Trek. Although my head was pounding, I put on a smile and got through the day. Ugh, what a day it was. Now, don't worry, this story has a happy ending. The days following my birthday were great. I got a prescription and starting popping herbs to increase my supply. My sleep batteries were adequately charged and Corryn has started to enjoy nursing more. We had a girls night to celebrate 3 ladies' birthdays, by far the best girls night yet. A table full of delectable desserts, a hot tub, and lots of laughs. Just what I needed.
A dear friend recently blogged about the funk she's in. Now, this friend is the kind of woman you aspire to be. She's an incredible mom, a spiritual giant completely dedicated to her calling, a talented and beautiful person always finding time to exercise, bake, serve, and entertain. Incredible. But, she's in a funk. She feels unfulfilled and sad. I want to say that I can relate and I can, somewhat. But there's a major difference between her and I. She's a positive thinker and I'm naturally a negative thinker. My facebook status history can attest. I don't really like that about myself... ha, there's another negative remark. Ah... must think positive, must think positive.
In order to pull off a complete emotional 180, I can only rely on the Lord. And so, I am announcing that this month is spiritual month. My this time next month, Easter and Conference time, I will know my Savior better and place myself in his hands daily. I'll be a happier person and better mom and wife. Wahoo!

2 comments:

  1. I've got it in you, my dear! Love you, hun!

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  2. Oh, I know what you mean! As I've thought about becoming a mum, I've wanted to escape back to childhood and being looked after by my own mum haha...don't know if I'm ready to be the giver all the time and not the receiver :)I am sure it's not easy but you are amazing! You are looking after a whole family, you rockstar!! Good luck with your spiritual goal!

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