Friday, August 03, 2012

I have to do it all again?

Yup, I'm pregnant. Crazy, I know. By the time this baby is born we will have been married not 5 years yet, had 3 kids and 2 major moves. Oi. I feel old and tired already. My hair is a wiry texture, my eyes have permanent dark circles, my stomach will forever have a muffin top, and will I never get enough sleep to feel energized. My patience runs thin, I find myself wanting an escape, and I find little joy in what I used to love doing. Not to mention my current pregnancy symptoms; I'm constantly nauseous, my chest aches, and my body screams for rest just from the daily chores of the day. Yeah, life is not real great right now. But such is the circle of life motherhood. In 7 months I'll be holding a beautiful baby in my arms... and whining about the pain of breastfeeding or the taxing hours of dealing with a fussy baby. Overall I've realized that motherhood, as beautiful as it is, is really quite ugly. It's super hard on your body and soul. But one day I'll be craving these early days again, right? Seriously? I'll wish for these days back?? The idea of ever feeling that way is hard to imagine right now.
But as hard as it all is.... my kids are still cute... and that makes it worth it.... barely.
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2 comments:

  1. AnonymousAugust 19, 2012 11:50 AM

    I need to come down and visit you soon. You need some reassurance and empathy, me thinks :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Karalea-KaraleaSeptember 20, 2012 8:55 AM

    I don’t wish for those days back. Not at all. I’m thankful I had my children, I am grateful that I was able to get pregnant easily and give birth without dying. But I love watching my kids grow up. Mostly pregnancy, babydom, toddler time was hard, exhausting, selfless work. It gets better. We face different trials now....peer pressure, attitude, etc. But these are not as physically exhausting...more mental, emotional, spiritual. Ah, the stages of mothering.

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