First Days Home and a Hospital Stay

First of all, I need to to jump forward to right now and then I'll jump back. Being in this hospital room with Corryn has been a bittersweet experience. It's just me and her. No Ethan, no Jon, no visitors. Don't get me wrong, I'm super lonely, bored and I want my husband and baby boy. But I've gotten to know Corryn and she's gotten to know me. It's nice. When I first saw her in the incubator I was a little freaked out and my heart sort of broke. I couldn't hold her whenever she whined and even when I did hold her, she was covered in cords and band-aids. It's a sad feeling to tend to your sick child. But, honestly, mine wasn't that sick. The most disheartened thing I've to deal with while I'm here is listening to the sick children in the rooms next door. Their wailing, their deathly coughing and moans in pain. It breaks my heart. I don't think I could do it, I'm not strong enough to be that parent. Not even close. Gah, why do bad things have to happen to little children? I can understand them happening to good people, but little children.... why? :(
Okay, okay, rewind.
Because I was recovering so well and Corryn was eating well, we were allowed to go home a day early. Hallelujah, because our recovery room was small, cramped and very hospitally. When came home and life was good. Corryn slept most of the day, in fact she was sleeping 22 hours a day. I was a little worried about this but since she was also feeding well, I didn't think much of it. I had loads of energy. We went out a couple times and I was up and doing chores the moment I got home. I didn't even need to take naps during the day. This energy, I know, is not going to last long, but I took advantage of it while I could.
Ethan's reaction to Corryn: He didn't was to acknowledge she was there. He wouldn't come within a couple feet of her, and there was no way you could get him to touch her. He loves her though, there's no doubt about that. Every time Corryn would squeal or start to cry, Ethan would look at her, get huge alligator tears in her eyes and then cry too. He's scared and worried for his little sister. It's cute now, when there's two adults home to tend to him, we'll see how he handles this when it's just me and Corryn, no extra hands to hug him. He has just started to actually look at her and say baby. My heart melts whenever this happens.
The weather was HORRIBLE the two days we were home. The entire time we have lived in LA, over 6 months now, it has never gotten about 82 degrees. The two days we were home with a newborn in an un-airconditioned apartment, it got over 100. This meant for a hot and very sleepy newborn, a whiny and lethargic toddler, and sticky and cranky adults. There was one point where I actually called the bishop in hopes that there was someone in the ward that had AC and a guest room where Corryn and I could spend the hot hours of the day. Sister Owens offered her place to me, but I didn't end up going there, thinking that the weather was going to cool down a little.... which it did... but only by like 5 or 10 degrees. Phew, those were a challenging couple of days.
When Corryn was 4 days old, she had her first doctor's appointment. She weighed in at 5lbs 10oz. I wasn't surprised she had lost weight, this is normal, and she had been sleeping non-stop since she was born it seemed like. The doctor sent us over to a lab to get Corryn's bilirubin levels tested since she was looking a little yellow. Sure enough, just an hour after we got home from the doctor, I was called with the results and orders to be admitted to the hospital for a couple of days for jaundice treatment. Her levels were 19.5, high enough to stay at the hospital. We quickly arranged for Ethan to go the the Goldsteins for the next day since my mom was flying home and Jon was going to work and couldn't get out of it. Jon came home from work, gave Corryn a blessing and then we were off.
Welp, that brings us to the present. Corryn is doing well, her levels are down to 13 now and we get to go home tomorrow. Yesterday I had to primarily bottle feed her, so I spent most of my time pumping and then feeding, over and over again. I actually got the least amount of sleep yet that day. Today is a lot better, I'm able to nurse her and I've gotten the hang of tending to all her cords. Mostly, I'm SUPER bored and I'm really anxious to take her home and see what kind of baby she actually is. I feel like she hasn't had a chance to start developing her personality yet since she slept through the hot days at home and is now sleeping her all her tanning treatment.
On another note, my mom has been wonderful. She has taken Ethan under her wing and taught him a lot of new tricks while she's been here. He now has his own toothbrush and likes to brush his teeth. He can FINALLY wave bye-bye. He's been saying "hi" for a long time now but has refused to say goodbye... just part of his personality I guess. He's also getting better at using a fork while he eats. In fact, when we don't use a fork, he ends up just throwing his food on the ground... it's a pretty frustrating process that he'll hopefully get over soon. Here are a couple pics to look at until the next adventure spurs another post.